Thinking Magically™ | I Challenge You to Success

February 22, 2015 1 comment

At the end of the day, how long it takes to form a particular habit doesn’t really matter that much.
Whether it takes 50 days or 500 days, you have to put in the work either way.
The only way to get to Day 500 is to start with Day 1.
So forget about the number and focus on doing the work.
– James Clear

That’s right. I’m throwing down the gauntlet. For years now I have been provoking you, teasing you, urging you to participate in your own success. Now, I’m just going to be blunt about it.

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Do you want success or not?
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That’s not really a fair question . . . you see, everybody is successful at what they do. Some are just more successful at only being “good enough” or “failing” or “sleepwalking” through Life. We’re all successes. We’re just not all successes at what we want to be successful at.

So, let me ask it a different way — Do you want positive, profound, and powerful success or not?

You might be thinking that everyone will immediately scream “YES.” It’s true that lots of people want this type of attainment. Most, however, are not willing to actually do anything to make it happen. (What? You thought it was just going to be handed to you?) Most are content to say to themselves and others: “I’m a good person. I have good intentions. I think good thoughts. treat people fairly and I work hard at my job. But nothing seems to go my way.

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The difference you need to know
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The difference between really consistently successful people and the rest of the world is that really consistently successful people see the end they want to reach before starting out on their journey. Oh, their destination might change along the way, but that’s a conscious decision that they make. In the beginning, they have an imagined future they’re headed for before they take the first step. The rest of us usually fall prey to what Bill Watterson so amply described: “The truth is, most of us discover where we’re headed when we arrive.

So, here’s my challenge to you — I dare you to create a fully dressed, expansively imagined, and vividly designed future for yourself!

Just how great can you push your imagination while ignoring everyone else?

How much farther in Life can you really go if you want to?

Who would you be if you had everything you want?

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Most of us are failures at dreaming
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Most people are not good dreamers — we are good havers and endurers and toleraters. We have become excellent excuse-makers. In fact, take a moment and ask yourself how many little lies you have created for yourself so that you don’t actually have to get off your ass right this moment and do what’s necessary to be the success you’ve always dreamed about.

Are the consistently successful people you know about smarter than you? Probably not.

Are they more creative than you? Probably not.

What they are, however, is harder and more intense workers than you. They go out and do epic shit. They work hard at being their version of whatever success they have conceived. And they take great delight in their achievements and yet remain restless so they just keep DOING MORE.

Most consistently successful people don’t pay any attention to — or they certainly don’t get mired down in — the setbacks and obstacles and challenges they encounter. They don’t complain. They don’t believe in bad luck. They believe in themselves and their visions and their outcomes.

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I challenge you . . .
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I challenge you to start basking in your dreams of success.

I dare you to savor the process of success.

I appeal to the child in you who remembers what it’s like to have superpowers.

I want you to have the courage to ignore the adult fears that keep whispering (if not screaming) that “you’re not good enough” or “you’re not deserving enough” or “you’re not being realistic.

I personally guarantee that you will find the demands of working through this challenge fairly unimportant and insignificant when eventually compared against the ultimate letdown and frustration that being ordinary brings. You don’t want to be ordinary, do you?

You see, what I’m really challenging you to do is see yourself in a whole new light — in a whole new way — in a whole new possibility. I’m challenging you to realize that you are in a state of never-ending change. And I’m challenging you to fashion the destination to which that unending transformation is leading.

Charles Du Bos once wrote: “The important thing is this: to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.” Are you willing to make that sacrifice? Are you willing to set aside your Past in order to enjoy your Present and celebrate an ecstastic Future?

To put it another way: If you know yourself to be a magical being — filled with power and charm and pleasure — then why would you continue to pretend to be something that you’re not? If you are a magician — one who intentionally creates and transforms and manifests outcomes — then you are a magician. And all the deception you’re doing to yourself and others is only going to bring you frustration until you start being authentic.

If you’re going to manifest your intentions, then start looking like someone who manifests their intentions. If you’re going to create futures, then start acting like someone who creates futures. If you’re going to have abundance, then start thinking like someone who has abundance. And if you’re going to transform Life into a world lived on your terms, then start being that transformation in every breath you take and every movement you make.

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Stop being an imposter
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Stop being false.

Stop copying failure.

Stop making excuses.

And so, in the end, we come to this inquiry —

Can you rise up to the challenge of being who you would like to be and can be if there weren’t any rules in the world?

Magicians don’t follow the rules of others. They make their own rules. They know the Universe is pliable and yet it always conspires for their own success — if only they imagine that success in the first place and then take massive action to make it real.

What do you think? I would love to continue the conversation with you by you subscribing at http://thinkingmagically.com or joining me on any of the major social media sites to take this discussion to an even deeper level. Post some of your own techniques on my pages on Facebook, Google+, LinkedIn and Twitter.

© 2015 by Scott Grossberg. All Rights Reserved. thinkingmagically.com

Thinking Magically™ | Stay Relevant With Me

February 15, 2015 Leave a comment

Harper was suddenly overwhelmed with the need to make an impression.
She didn’t want to be forgotten, even if it was for all the wrong reasons.
— Elizabeth Craft and Sarah Fain, Bass Backwards and Belly Up

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What’s With This Thing I Keep Hearing About?
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I’ve been hearing A LOT lately about the concept of “relevance.” People tell me they want to be “relevant.” People who run business tell me they want their businesses to be “relevant.” They say these things as if being “relevant” — the very word itself — has some enchanting connection to the world and people and success — as if being “relevant” is either-or: win or fail, black or white, yes or no concept. Then, again, I wonder if most of the people who blindly toss that funny word — “relevant” — about (like it’s a Wham-O Super Ball® hoping that the word, alone, will continue to bounce and have impact) really know what it means to anyone, including themselves.

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It’s Really About Being Essential . . . And We’re All Essential
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Let me suggest that we start agreeing on a common meaning for being “relevant” so we, at least, talk to each other rather than blindly talking past each other. And let’s start with the idea that being “relevant” implies there’s such a thing as  being “not relevant.”

If we substitute the word “essential” for the word “relevant” maybe we start getting closer to what we all implicitly mean when we cast aside people as being “irrelevant.”

Some people use the word “relevance” to mean up-to-speed with new technology and methods. They will tell you that if you don’t use the latest engineering, science, apps, and management methods, you are doomed to failure. Thus you are — “not relevant.”

Don’t you think this is such backward and foolish thinking?

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Newfangled is Not Always Best
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New is not always better.

New is not always efficient.

New is not always effective.

Sometimes it is.

But not always.

Let me give you an example. Tom Hanks is well-known for his love of typewriters. It’s an obsession of his, really. And he works on a typewriter. Many of us grew up with typewriters and would never go back to this type of Luddite tool once we’ve embraced what a computer has to offer. These are preferences, though. Tom Hanks and his working style are still relevant.

The concept of whether someone or some business is relevant or essential or necessary or indispensable comes down how they or it work and the outcomes that are achieved — not necessarily the tools they use. Consistently successful magicians — those who get systematically kick-ass results — have reliable patterns for attainment. And boy do they deliver the goods (just look at Tom Hanks’ accomplishments).

Sometimes they will use new technology.

Sometimes they will use tried-and-true old-school methods.

Sometimes they will use a hybrid approach (Hanks, by the way, has even offered a new iPad app that lets you use your iPad as a typewriter).

These models of abundance know that EVERYTHING IS RELEVANT!

To put is another way — you can’t create relevance.

You simply prioritize.

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Choose Your Own Relevance
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So, with an understanding that what we really want in our lives and in our businesses and in our relationships is to be the priority — to be the only logical choice for ourselves and others — here are some things you can consider putting into your magical toolkit to stay “relevant”:

1. Always keep learning. Every magician knows that you only die when you stop moving. Keep embracing new ideas. Keep discovering old ideas. Keep synthesizing the old and the new. Take an alchemical approach to life.

2.  Embracing new ideas means actually working with them — not just understanding them intellectually. Just because I’ve said that “new is not always better” does not mean that “new is not better.” Great magicians study new wizardly techniques and tools and ideas all the time. They get a working knowledge of them and then prioritize (there’s that word again) how and if they will be used.

3.  Stay flexible. Improv artists (I’ve written and talked before about the importance of improv training and that type of mindset for really taking your accomplishments to new heights) know how important the concept of “of course” is to any setting. Aesop (yeah, that fabled guy) once wrote: “The little reed, bending to the force of the wind, soon stood upright again when the storm had passed over.

4.  Keep seeking to know yourself. There is a gap between where you are and where you want to be. The challenge for most people is that they fall in that gap and don’t ever climb out. And worse — if they climb out, they don’t fill in the gap so they fall right back in, again. It’s trite to just say, “know yourself.” Take some action and write out your worldview — what’s important to you, what are the rules you live by, how do you make your decisions.

5.  Live in the moment. How funny that I work with all types of people and most have a similar pattern — they plan and vie and work for a future goal and then, when they get what they want, they’ve already moved on to another goal. I’m the poster child for being restless. I get being wired to be continually moving. But what good is achieving something if you’re not there to enjoy it? There’s nothing wrong with taking a respite and celebrating an accomplishment. Hell, celebrate the journey, the dance, the song of life. There’s always time to get moving, again.

So, you have a new challenge — framing yourself for yourself (and others) so that you stay connected and applicable to the world and people around you. I’ve given you a few solutions for you to apply. And I want to hear how they are working for you.

What do you think? I would love to continue the conversation with you by you subscribing at http://thinkingmagically.com or joining me on any of the major social media sites to take this discussion to an even deeper level. Post some of your own techniques on my pages on Facebook, Google+, LinkedIn and Twitter.

© 2015 by Scott Grossberg. All Rights Reserved. thinkingmagically.com

Thinking Magically™ | Treat Your Magic Like a Lover

February 8, 2015 Leave a comment

Take a lover who looks at you like maybe you are magic.
– Frida Kahlo

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Magic is not a finish line
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Many people I run into think that “doing magic” is an ultimate outcome — a result that you hurry to achieve. Nothing could be further from the truth. Magic, like being with a lover, is a journey, a process, an activity. If it were any other way, then the fastest performer (in both the arts of magic and love) would be the winner.

And we certainly know that isn’t the case, don’t we?

Still, we are a neurotic and ambitious bunch and most of us are unaware of the reality of love and magic.We live in a driven society that places a value on speed and appreciates quick results and treasures a swift outcome. It’s as if we’re spellbound by the illusion of immediate gratification — that thing we “feel” when we get what we think we want without delay. And in being goaded and influenced by the thought of immediate pleasure, we end up losing, ignoring, and overlooking the actual love and magic that is Life.

People — many people — have ceased to see that love is the process and activity of loving, not a climax at the end.

The use of magic is no different.

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We are out of touch
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We are, as a society, out of touch with reality and we continue to be rewarded for such ignorance. Is it any wonder that you see so many advertisements claiming a sure-cure for what ails you in your love life? We remain disconnected and confused because we remain enchanted by the vicious circle of our own hurried lives — never realizing that if we just slow down and breathe a little and reach out and touch a little more and caress a little more, Life becomes . . . magical.

In fact, I’ll go so far as to dare you to take an entire day — just one day — and treat it as a one long foreplay activity.

Get aroused.

Get stimulated.

Hug. Kiss. Fondle.

PLAY!

Then ask yourself: What’s different now? Notice how a day spent in stimulation and excitement makes you feel. Most importantly, notice how it made those around you feel.

And then entertain the notion that being a consistently successful magician is just like that — every day is spent awakening to new loves, being excited with new prospects for expressing that love, and being stirred to the point of creation.

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Start a romance
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I’m inviting you to start a romance with your magic. I’m requesting that you revisit your relationship with your own personal power. I’m provoking you to fall in love with the energy that is you.

In other words — don’t simply focus on the climax of your wants, wishes, and desires. If your goal is to simply and selfishly and foolishly finish ahead of everyone else or as quickly as possible, you’ll quickly run out of people who want to be around you.

Center, instead, on the activity of loving. That is magic in and of itself. Start paying attention to what you DO when you’re loving and you’ll be surprised to find that a masterful lover is really a masterful magician, as well.

I’m well aware that what I’ve written here is uncomfortable for some of you. That’s good. If this is uncomfortable, you need this concept the most in order to move you to the next level of magical mastery.

I’m also aware that all of your programming up until now may have to be rewritten. You need a magical (and loving) reboot. You’ve been thinking of your lovemaking and your magic in a certain way for along time. It’s time to put that in the Past and get on with a more empowering and playful way of seeing and doing.

Start tending to those things and people and events that capture your attention and create a desire in you that won’t let you go until you take them in your arms and in your heart and in your soul. Handling magic is like consorting with a lover —  it is about movement, touch, and passion. And it is something that is ought to be kept out in the open for all to see at all times — not stashed away as a secret to be brought out at this or that time with the hope that the fire will still be there. Eventually that fire’s going to go out unless you tend to it.

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Treat your magic like a lover
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Magic, like a lover, is playful.

Magic, like a lover, doesn’t have a finish line or a goal or an end point.

The whole point of magic, like a lover, is the magic.

The whole point of magic, like a lover, is not to say “I’m coming,” but to say “I’m here.”

My wish for you today is to start treating your magic like a lover. Stop cheating yourself out of the otherworldly experiences you could be having because you’re so focused on an end point. Instead, start seeing the whole point of magic — just like you’d see a lover — it’s a magic thing and you’re supposed to be doing magic all along the way.

What do you think? I would love to continue the conversation with you by you subscribing at http://thinkingmagically.com or joining me on any of the major social media sites to take this discussion to an even deeper level.

© 2015 by Scott Grossberg. All Rights Reserved. thinkingmagically.com

Thinking Magically™ | How to Have Made-to-Order Magic in No Time

February 1, 2015 1 comment

The crucial discovery was made that,
in order to become painting,
the universe seen by the artist had to
become a private one created by himself.
– Andre Malraux

I’ve always loved the word bespoke. It’s the British term for “made to order.” When you have something that is custom-made it is bespoke. The word literally means “to speak for something.” Another way of saying this might be reflected in a passage from Matthew — “ask and it shall be given to you.”

Now imagine that word applied to the world of magic.

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Tailor-made magic matters
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Bespoke magic!

Would you have it any other way? You don’t want your uniqueness to be reduced to what is common or off-the-shelf.

How your magic is interpreted, accepted, and recognized by . . . you . . . are perhaps the most influential parts of being a magician. You don’t pay much attention to something that is run-of-the-mill. Of course, this leads to the inevitable question:
How do I turn commonplace beliefs into notable magic?

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It’s what you know that matters
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One of the first places to find your bespoke magic is to look at the quality of your current beliefs. You will find that notable magic, bespoke magic, your own singular-unequaled-distinctive magic will be rooted in your understanding, not in your beliefs, and that’s why it’s so crucial for you to know the difference in your own thinking.

What do you really know that is true?

What do you really understand rather than simply believe?

What are the ground rules you set for yourself so that you know what’s truly important in your life?

Are you one of those people who believe it’s better to follow the rules and just get along? Or are you one of those rebels and non-conformists I speak about so often; the ones are bold and daring enough to put your creativity and imagination out into the world?

Most of us have commonplace beliefs, by the way. You might call it conventional wisdom. We’ve been handed commonplace beliefs since we were little. You know the language that heralds a commonplace belief: “We’ve always done it that way” or “That’s the way we did it when I was growing up” or “Because, that’s why!

How absurd these sayings look in the starkness of black and white.

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It’s the Truth that matters
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The problem with commonplace beliefs and conventional wisdom is that they don’t necessarily — or usually — embody the truth. And the only way to find the truth is to ask lots of questions. You’ll know you’re onto something when those proponents of your commonplace beliefs and conventional wisdom start pushing back and warning you that you are up to no good. And when they really start beating you back, that’s when you ask even more questions — of yourself and them! Because when there’s that kind of conflict going on it is a sure sign that there’s a commonplace belief that’s starting to get a bit unsettled and so it’s fighting back.

Finding your own made-to-order magic is vital to you understanding that you are not ordinary. It affirms you to you and shows you that you are capable of making a difference in the world — that you are a singularity in the Universe and thus you have permission to share your charm with the rest of the world.

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It’s being self-aware that matters
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There is nothing more valuable than being self-aware.

So how do you become self-aware and create your own made-to-order magic?

STEP ONE. Stop sleep-walking through the parts of your life.

Most people go through life reacting — rather than responding — to the irritations, obstacles, and naysayers we encounter. You go to work, put in a day much like any other day, come home and are thankful you survived. And then you repeat this dreadful pattern. You treat your body like crap (you don’t work out), you eat crap (you don’t pay attention to what’s healthy), you talk crap about others (admit it — you gossip and commiserate with others), and then you complain that your life is crap (rather than extolling the richness you have). It’s no wonder, then, that when you believe you have a crap life it’s no wonder you just want to sleep-walk through it.

If you really want to stop sleep-walking through your life, develop a clear direction of where you want to go. Then, and only then, will your made-to-order magic kick in and start moving you in that direction.

STEP TWO. Determine what having a magical life means for you.

To find out what having a magical life means for you, just answer the following questions:

1.  What did you dream about being when you were a kid?

2.  If you were a superhero, how would you save the world?

3.  If the only thing you had to do each day was Be Happy, how would you accomplish that?

4.  If I handed you a million dollars, what would you do with it?

5.  If you were told that you only had a year to live, what would you do?

Once you have the answers to these questions firmly in mind, then ask the next big question. It’s the same one for each of the first 5 questions — WHY?

Once you have the why for each of these five questions, you will know what a magical life means for you.

STEP THREE. Dedicate yourself to living a magical life every single day.

Every day is a chance for you to define your life. That means that every day is a chance for you to do something magical, observe something magical, realize something magical, experience something magical.

The real secret to having made-to-order magic is ===> Making a choice.

Take a moment and look back over yesterday and how you spent it. You probably thought many of the same thoughts as the day before that. You likely did many of the same things you always do. How many missed opportunities were there for you to have a magical life?

Making a choice to live a magical life matters. Being unique matters. Sharing yourself with the world so that it’s just a little bit better today than it was yesterday matters.

And when you start living a life that matters — to you — your made-to-order magic is right there with you.

What do you think? I would love to continue the conversation with you by you subscribing at http://thinkingmagically.com or joining me on any of the major social media sites to take this discussion to an even deeper level.

© 2015 by Scott Grossberg. All Rights Reserved. thinkingmagically.com

Thinking Magically™ | Do You Make Good Magic? Follow These 2 Steps and You Will.

January 25, 2015 1 comment

Magic
Sandra’s seen a leprechaun,
Eddie touched a troll,
Laurie danced with witches once,
Charlie found some goblins gold.
Donald heard a mermaid sing,
Susy spied an elf,
But all the magic I have known
I’ve had to make myself.
– Shel Silverstein, Where the Sidewalk Ends

If you’ve been to one of my live events or followed this blog for some time, you know that I talk and write a lot about how everyone needs to have real magic in their life. Most of us are so caught up in the daily grind of making a living, climbing the ladder of success, and surviving paycheck-to-paycheck, that we forget to enjoy the wonder that is part of each day.

Or worse — we have learned to treat those things that would otherwise charm, bewitch, and fascinate us with disdain and doubt. And with that disdain and doubt is born dissatisfaction, suffering, and anger. We become world-weary and blasé.

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I know what I’m talking about when it comes to magic
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When I tell you that choosing a life filled with magic is the key to living the life of your dreams, I know what I’m talking about. So, I’m here to give you some suggestions for putting the charm back in your life and for bringing the sensualness and allure of the world within arms’ reach of you.

The important question I started off this article with is — simply: Do you make good magic?

Think about those two words — “good” and “magic.” You just want to feel better and I’m telling you it’s as simple as have “good magic.”

Can it really be that simple?

Yes.

While you’re trying in vain to make a difference by following someone else’s rules, what’s really going to work for you is learning to follow your own rules of “good magic.” So what do those two words mean?

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“Good magic” is so easy to understand and apply
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Good, in my way of thinking, means something that is “better.” It is something that is “worthy” and “honorable” and that which gives you an “advantage.”

Magic is the way you observe, interpret, and transform your reality. It begins with an intention and ends with a result — it is not one or the other; it is both. With magic, you see, an intention implies an outcome, and an outcome implies a purpose. It is also the way you choose to move in the world and have your soul seen and understood. And it is a conscious decision to play and have fun and move with certainty every moment of every day.

I’m not suggesting, by the way, that there is some special knowledge or supernatural information to which only a select few have access or that are exclusively gifted by the gods to an anointed handful. Far from it. The good magic that I’m inviting you to play with is out in the open and there for the taking and using and cavorting with by anyone.

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There are only two things you need to know to begin
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And all of this good magic involves only two simple and easy things to understand:

1.  Dare to respect yourself. Most of us allow the various opportunities that come our way to dictate what our purpose is at any given time. Let me explain. Let’s say you have a major purpose in life to be an author (everyone tells me that they have a great work inside them waiting to be birthed). But then comes along an opportunity to make a little more money doing something other than writing that great work. So we say, “Hell, yes. I can do that.” And then we do “that” and in doing “that” our definite purpose of being an author fades a little. Another haphazard money-making opportunity comes along and, yet again, we say, “Hell, yes. I can do that, too.” And sure enough — you do. Pretty soon, you’re in the habit of letting other people’s agendas prescribe what you’re doing in life.

Yes, you’re making money. Yes, you’re keeping you’re restlessness and need for constant movement in check. Yes, you’re keeping busy. And in the process, you’ve become an action-packed hack — someone who’s working very hard doing things that someone else doesn’t want to do so they’re paying you to do it for them.

Don’t you think it’s time to have a little more regard for what you want to accomplish in life?

To put it another way — if you don’t care about your major purpose in life, why should anyone else?

2.  Dare to respect your magic. Most of you will be too timid to follow a life of magic. For those who are courageous enough, however, I offer this — the world is in need of magic right now. But not just any type of magic. It needs your personal brand of wit, self-confidence, cleverness, and imagination. And . . . it needs you to act upon your dreams. We need you to “say and do.” Honor your magic enough to be willing to set aside politeness so that you can follow your happiness. Accept your magic enough to be willing to suspend your patronizing of other’s desires so that you can deliver your own ambition from mere idea to powerful result. Yes, I’d like to see everyone get along and play nicely with each other. But I also know that if you don’t give your own magic priority, you are doomed to a life of absurd servitude.

Respect yourself.

Respect your magic.

You are now armed with the only two things you need to get you started on a life filled with magic.

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But, wait, there’s one more thing . . . .
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And here’s one other little possibility for you to consider —  As you embark on your life of magic, remember that the life of a magician is one of continuous and uninterrupted amazement. Stop dabbling with your life and your magic and your dreams. Launch yourself and your magic and your aspirations with wild abandon.

What do you think? I would love to continue the conversation with you by you subscribing at http://thinkingmagically.com or joining me on any of the major social media sites to take this discussion to an even deeper level.

© 2015 by Scott Grossberg. All Rights Reserved. thinkingmagically.com

Thinking Magically™ | Where do the strong go to be weak?

January 18, 2015 Leave a comment

Life will break you.
Nobody can protect you from that, and living alone won’t either,
for solitude will also break you with its yearning.
You have to love. You have to feel.
It is the reason you are here on earth.
You are here to risk your heart.
You are here to be swallowed up.
And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed,
or left, or hurt, or death brushes near,
let yourself sit by an apple tree and
listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps,
wasting their sweetness.
Tell yourself you tasted as many as you could.
— Louise Erdrich

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The need for strength surrounds us
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Many years ago, I wrote and had produced a musical about King Arthur and Camelot called “Pendragon.” One of the greatest moments — for me — was when my song, “Where Do The Strong Go To Be Weak?” was performed. While the song was given the backdrop of a powerful leader suddenly realizing that he needed to show and share his powerlessness to be complete, it really was written for all of us.

I grew up around very potent and forceful and strong men and women. In fact, my grandmothers are two of the strongest people I have ever known.

Doubt me?

My maternal grandmother was lovingly known as “The Little General.”

I have been a litigator for 30 years going up against some of the most obnoxious, ego-driven, and sociopathic attorneys in this country. You can imagine the personality I’ve had to display in order to beat them. You know, now that I write that, I confess that I have had some of the most obnoxious, ego-driven, and sociopathic clients, as well. You can imagine the personality I’ve had to display in order to serve them well.

To say that there has been a lot of testosterone flowing around me is an understatement.

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Must we be strong every minute of every day?
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Most of us grew up with sentiments like that expressed by General George S. Patton in his speech to the Third Army: “Americans love to fight. All real Americans love the sting and clash of battle. When you were kids, you all admired the champion marble shooter, the fastest runner, the big-league ball players and the toughest boxers. Americans love a winner and will not tolerate a loser. Americans play to win all the time. . . . We’re advancing constantly and we’re not interested in holding anything except the enemy’s balls. We’re going to hold him by his balls and we’re going to kick him in the ass; twist his balls and kick the living shit out of him all the time.

What happens, though, when there’s a pause in the daily battles? What happens when you need a respite? Does Patton’s “advancing under fire” tactic have to play itself out every minute of every day?

I think not.

It’s taken some time to learn, but I now know that being incredibly weak is a necessary part of being incredibly strong. In fact, being strong necessitates knowing and displaying and coming to love your weaknesses.

I am not asking you to become a doormat for others. I am asking you to let go of the safeness of looking strong all the time.

I am not asking you to become the puppet for others. I am asking you to let go of the sameness of looking strong all the time.

I am asking you to be vulnerable and reachable and human. And I’m asking you to be those things from a place of strength and knowledge and power.

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Start practicing being weak and you’ll discover you’re not
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Here are some ideas to practice being weak:

1.  Get to know yourself first. This sounds quite trite today. Everyone tells you to “know yourself” and “to thine own self be true.” I suggest to you, though, that you’re afraid of showing weakness because you don’t really know your strengths. Once you know who and what you are and what you can do, you stop being self-defensive and combative and needing to prove yourself all of the time. It is in that moment of awakening to who you really are that you discover the true strengths of your weaknesses. And the fear and the need to defend suddenly melt away.

2.  Create a habit of being exposed to others. Most of us have been taught to operate under the spell of others. We’ve been rewarded for not making waves, not being too transparent, and not going out on a limb. I’m asking you to shake off what you’ve been taught and followed for so long; to escape from being inhuman and start relating to others by first relating to yourself. If this whole concept makes you uncomfortable — GOOD. Practice one little thing each day that leaves you unprotected and unsafe. By the way, Step 2 does not mean you are to act like a victim. The world today is made up of crybabies and finger pointers. That is not what I am suggesting, at all. On the contrary, I am suggesting that the best things in your life will come to you when you keep your personal power and understand it in the context of your fears.

3.  Create a network of people where you can go to be weak. How often are you able to show your authentic self to the world? Hell, how often do you show your authentic self to yourself? Start collecting people around you with whom you can share the genuine you.  C.G. Jung wrote: “The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.” Find those people with whom you feel safe sharing your feelings, your experiences, and your desires. You have a unique style of living your life. I am asking you to create a group of friends around whom you have the strength to reveal what causes you pain. Soon, you will discover that your confidence in sharing the authentic you will move beyond this safe group and out into the world.

What do you think? Can you show your strength through your weakness? And are you willing to share your insights with me and others? If so, let’s continue the conversation by you subscribing at http://thinkingmagically.com or joining me on any of the major social media sites to take this discussion to an even deeper level.

© 2015 by Scott Grossberg. All Rights Reserved. thinkingmagically.com

Thinking Magically™ | A Birthday Present — The 5 Most Important Lessons You Could Learn in 2015

January 11, 2015 Leave a comment

“I’ve been making a list of the things they don’t teach you at school.
They don’t teach you how to love somebody.
They don’t teach you how to be famous.
They don’t teach you how to be rich or how to be poor.
They don’t teach you how to walk away from someone you don’t love any longer.
They don’t teach you how to know what’s going on in someone else’s mind.
They don’t teach you what to say to someone who’s dying.
They don’t teach you anything worth knowing.”
― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones

Today’s my birthday.

And there’s a present that I want from you.

I want you to take your life to the next level of happiness. Because as you better your life, you better the world. And when you better the world, you better all of us.

Will you do that for me in this new year?

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A new way of thinking about life
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Here we are at the start of 2015.

Declarations of future intent.

Resolutions to change your behavior.

Statements of decisions.

For most of us, the start of a new year involves these things. It is a time when we make a list (usually in our heads) of all those things we’re supposed to do. It’s not that there’s a whole lot of contemplation going on. We know we should lose weight, so we declare we’re going to lose 5 pounds. We know we should stop smoking, so we resolve we won’t pick up a cigarette, again. We know we should save money, so we declare 10% of our gross income will be set aside for our future needs.

While these things are certainly important on one level, the fact remains that these are declarations, resolutions and statement about superficial things.

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Think on these things
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What if you just start doing what will make you healthier, richer, and more fulfilled? Do the obvious instead of making excuses why they aren’t going to happen or haven’t happened in the past.

With that out of the way, you now leave yourself the time and energy and emotional sustenance to reflect upon the truly important lessons you could learn this year.

So . . . here are some things to think upon —

1.  What does happiness really mean for you? Most of us don’t know. In fact, most of us don’t even think about it. We go through life reacting to what comes our way and only then decide something makes us happy or makes us frown. Then we avoid what causes us pain and wait — yet again — for something that makes us smile to come along. I’m pushing you to actually take the time to learn what happiness is FOR YOU. Only then can you start calling the shots and responding in a way that is consistent with what you learn about your own happiness.

2.  Why do you need validation from others to feel like a success? We all do. And those of you who say you don’t care what others think are trying to pull a fast one on the rest of us, at best, or kidding yourselves, at worst. We all seek to be part of a community. We’re wired to seek external confirmation of what we internally think, believe, do, and feel. It’s helps us to keep score. Let’s stop running away from the need for others to affirm we’re okay and start running towards what that type of affirmation does for you. When we learn what we are seeking from others, we start to awaken to what we can provide for ourselves.

3.  Why does silence concern us? We live in a time when things move faster than ever before. I used to joke that we live in an MTV world — fast cuts and strange angles that capture and keep our attention. Now we live in a world of Twitter-like sound bites and YouTube-like instant images. Our cell phones have tethered us to as much information and stimulation as we can handle and desire. We’ve conditioned ourselves to think (not necessarily feel) all the time. It’s time we learn to put back some silence and alone-time into our lives.

4.  Why don’t you know what you want? Much like happiness, this is one of those questions that asks you to go beyond the obvious. Can you actually tell me what you want? Really? You may think you know what you want. If you’re one of those people who can tell the world what that is, ask these questions: What will getting [whatever it is you want] bring me? How will my life be different once I get it? Most of us know what we want from time-to-time and the find that those wants shift and morph and change. THAT’S NATURAL. Take the time to reflect upon all the important things you’ve wanted in your life and find the pattern that exists there. There’s a structure to what you wish for. And in that pattern is your real desire.

5.  Why are you miserable? We suffer. We complain. We’re uncomfortable in the life we’re living. And damn if we haven’t become experts at snarling up our own lives. Do you want to live that way for the rest of your life? Perhaps it’s time to learn why you sabotage your own success and happiness. Once you make that discovery, you can always return to your complicated life (if that actually serves you well) or you can then choose a different way of doing things.

These questions are designed to reveal some of Life’s greatest lessons. Treat the questions with reverence as they lead to the sacredness of you. During 2015 we’ll be exploring even more profound, fun, and magical ideas to make this new year your best year, yet.

Stay tuned. The adventure is about to get even better.

And make sure to subscribe at http://thinkingmagically.com or post your comments or create a new conversation on Facebook, Google+ or LinkedIn and together we can create even more magic in the world. I can’t wait to read about your success in making magic your own super power.

Remember, though, it all begins with an inner transformation and dedication to making magic a habit.

© 2015 by Scott Grossberg. All Rights Reserved. thinkingmagically.com
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