“I’ve wanted to win at everything, every day, since I was a kid.
And time doesn’t change a person, it just helps you get a handle on who you are.
Even at age 41, I still hate losing–I’m just more gracious about it.
I’m also aware that setbacks have an upside; they fuel new dreams.”
― Dara Torres, Age Is Just a Number: Achieve Your Dreams at Any Stage in Your Life
I’ve been in the midst of getting ready for trial. Millions of dollars are on the line. More than money, though, is what the thought of losing means for my client on emotional, visceral, and intellectual levels. It is my job to remain calm, disciplined, and focused. It is my job to fully advise my client what winning looks like and, more importantly, what losing looks like. And I have to be prepared to lose the case but not fail my client. It’s not always an easy road. It can get very messy for those involved. Sometimes you need nerves of steel in order to not be sucked into the mire of craziness. That got me to thinking . . . how does a Magician stay calm in the face of potential loss?
“But, Scott, you hate to lose. I’ve heard you say it before. Why are you talking about losing?” you might be thinking.
And you’d be right. I hate to lose. Today’s discussion, however, is not about actually losing. It’s about being prepared to lose. It’s about the Magic that happens when you are fierce about winning while, at the same time, being acutely aware that you might not.
You’ll notice, by the way, that I chose the word “lose” rather than the word “fail.” Every Magician knows that there’s a difference between losing and failing. They are not the same thing. In fact, Simon Sinek once wrote: “There is a difference between losing & failing. Losing reflects the score. Failing reflects your attitude.”
When you are certain of your personal Magic and choose to use that Magic to make your dreams come true, you are assured of two things from the moment you decide to move forward: you are going to pay a price (in time, energy, emotion, money, etc.) and you are skilled to handle what might come your way. That means you cannot fail because of your belief in and feeling about yourself.
Oh, you can still lose. I might not get a desired outcome. But I will never fail myself.
Perhaps this will make it a little clearer—
Not figuring out what you want in life = failure
Not choosing to make what you want in life a reality = failure
Not having passion for the important things that you do = failure
Getting less than everything you think you want = loss
Keeping less than everything you think you need = loss
Making a decision that does not yield the desired outcome = loss
In my upcoming book, “The Most Magical Secret – 4 Weeks to an Ecstatic Life,” I spend some time discussing a sobering thought—we copy failure. We don’t generally copy loss. And we keep copying failure over and over.
Here’s another serious concept—outcomes are always going to happen. We can either choose to let those outcomes happen to us or we can be the Magicians we know ourselves to be and choose to create those outcomes.
So, why should we try when we might lose? Why don’t we do what most of the world does—going through each day just trying to survive the ambitions of others?
Because that would be failure.
And Magicians don’t fail!
There’s no honor in failure.
Magicians are heroic. They are brave enough to chase their dreams. They are bold enough to make those dreams happen. Magicians live a larger-than-life existence. Their thoughts are expansive. Their passions are grand. And their desires are impressive.
I challenge you to take charge of your life and your dreams and your aspirations by being willing to lose but never being willing to fail. From this day forward, I dare you to send your fears and thus your failures scurrying into the night.
Magicians are in a unique position to banish what doesn’t work; to understand loss is a part of Life but to relegate failure to distant memory. Crazy Horse, the Lakota Sioux leader, is reported to have inspired his warriors with the phrase, “Hóka-héy!, Today is a good day to die!” (I know, I know. Some of you think it’s a Klingon saying.)
So, from this day forward can you form such a strong belief and understanding that you can live each moment of Life with confidence and competence? Can you live a life without regret? Can you Say and Do?
The world does not remember what is casual and ordinary.
You are a Magician.
You are a hero.
You are part of the legends that will be told.
Can you be ready to lose so that you can win?
I would love to continue the conversation with you by you subscribing at http://thinkingmagically.com or you joining me on any of the major social media sites to take this discussion to an even deeper level.