Life events are giving you heartburn.
You feel sick to your stomach.
Sh*t seems to be flowing around, towards, and out of you.
When your soul isn’t happy, nobody’s happy.
You know it.
I know it.
Everyone knows it.
When stuff is hitting the fan, you become confused.
When you’re thrown a sh*t sandwich, you become irritable.
When there’s so much bullsh*t going on around you, you become planless.
Would you like some relief from the symptoms?
One of the first things to figure out is if the sh*t is coming from you or it’s flowing to you. The source and direction of that stuff is going to determine your strategy for removing the problems.
If the sh*t is coming from you, then it’s time to reevaluate the scripts and stories you are telling yourself. Look, I’m an attorney. I’m paid to have nightmares for other people. When bad things happen to me, I can tell you that I’m an expert at imagining every terror that might exist, potentially exist, or can be invented even if there’s no real chance it would ever manifest in the first place. I get how easy it is to imagine the boogeymen and monsters and things that go bump in the night.
I also know, firsthand, that all this negativity and fear isn’t going to stop the effects of the sh*t that’s coming out of you.
It’s time to clean yourself out. It’s time to get a mindset and outlook version of prune juice for your soul.
One of the quickest ways you can accomplish this cleansing, is to realize that there are some things you know to be true and all the others stuff is just that . . . stuff. Take a moment and write out all those things you KNOW to be true. Make distinctions between what you KNOW to be true and what you believe (and usually those beliefs have been created by you out of fear, the need for self-preservation, and even anger).
Then, when you determine what you KNOW to be true about the world, your life, and you, write out some positive mantras, affirmations, and powerful catch phrases. Post them everywhere . . . in your wallet, in your purse, in your pocket, in your kitchen, on your bathroom mirror. Everywhere you will get instant reminders to rescript and rewrite and reprogram the sh*t talk that’s going on in side you.
If you find that the stuff is rolling towards you from the outside, I recommend something I wrote about more than 2 years ago . . . My Personal Sh*t Handling Toolkit. Let me repost it for you here:
YOUR PERSONAL SH*T HANDLING TOOLKIT
TOOL ONE. See things the way they are. Take some time, right now, to analyze your relationship with the world and people around you. When you come to grips with the fact that nothing is permanent and everything changes, you can start living your life authentically and fully. When you fear that something bad is happening or about to happen, keep asking yourself, “Is this real?” If it’s not real and you are letting your imagination run away with you, it’s time to recenter. If the answer to the question is “yes” and shit is truly happening, it’s time to get out Tool Two.
TOOL TWO. Don’t rush your emotions. Just handle it. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross introduced the concept of the five stages of grief: (a) Denial, (b) Anger, (c) Bargaining, (d) Depression, and (e) Acceptance. Quite frankly, these stages apply to any highly stressful situation (whether real or imagined). The important thing for you to note is that these stages happen at different times and in a different order for each of you. Just let them come to you. Why? Because Tool Two is all about just handling what comes your way and not worrying about controlling your emotions. “Handling it,” by the way means living in the moment and responding to the shit that is happening at that moment. Stop projecting into the future – that’s where fear and anxiety are born. Stop staring at your past – that’s where regret and sorrow are born. Just stay centered in the Here and Now. If you can’t do that, it’s time to get out Tool Three.
TOOL THREE. Let someone else help. Fear, stress, and anxiety can become overwhelming for some. They create immersive experiences and feelings and you feel like you’ve been thrown into a sea and you have no flotation device to save you (or the ones you love). One of my favorite quotes is from Edwin Louis Cole. It goes like this: “You don’t drown by falling in the water; you drown by staying there.” When you feel like you need to be alone to drown in your own fears, sorrow, and what you think is the unfairness of it all, that’s likely the best time for you to find someone to be and share with. Express your fears, your concerns, your sadness with someone else. It will help you create a safe and caring place to move forward from. And, if just being with someone else is not enough, bring out the most powerful instrument of all – Tool Four.
TOOL FOUR. Know that you cannot hold everything. But you can choose how to respond to everything. Here’s a deep insight from Richard Bach for you to consider: “The mark of your ignorance is the depth of your belief in injustice and tragedy.” One of the best tools you can start to employ – right now – is the concept of non-attachment. Now before you start pushing back, know that non-attachment does not mean not having, it only means not holding onto something or someone. Remember Tool One? Nothing is permanent and everything changes. Most of the people you come into contact with don’t understand “not holding.” All they know is the selfishness of the words “to have and to hold.” When you finally stop clinging, hanging on, and trying to control each and every thing or person, you will suddenly find yourself an open cup. And perhaps . . . just perhaps . . . Life will finally show you there is a way to be filled with Happiness.
Sh*t is going to happen . . even to Magicians. I know, however, that John Lennon was correct when he wrote: “Everything will be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”
May the Magic be with you! Always.
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