You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it.
– James M. Barrie
One of my major life themes is simply this: You can be, do, and have every damn thing you want.
The people I work and partner with believe this, too. They embrace it. They live it. They DO IT.
And even though they work their best personal magic . . . some things and people and events don’t manifest as quickly or in just the way as imagined.
Magic doesn’t always work that way.
And — take this to heart — you don’t just wish for something, sit back, and wait for “it” to come to you. That type of habit will ultimately doom you to failure.
Sometimes — no — EVERY TIME — you have to work for what you want. In one way or another. And sometimes you have to be patient and confident. And you always have to make your dream imperishable.
Still, how do you deal with discouragement?
There is a way. Let me share it with you . . .
YOU KNOW YOU’RE REALLY JUST INTIMIDATING YOURSELF
Discouragement (as contrasted against rejection) happens when you don’t have a definite major purpose in your life that is clear, focused, and which you believe is attainable.
In other words, it’s easy to become demoralized and downright pessimistic when you put your heart and soul and mighty deeds into something and still feel that you’re at the beck and call of others.
This then causes tension and angst which, in turn, then feeds the disempowering feeling that there’s a lack of control in any given situation.
So, for me — avoiding or overcoming discouragement is all about remembering. It is about reclaiming your belief in yourself, in your vision, and in your own competence.
And, sometimes, you just need an outside cheerleader. I’ve written before about the importance of having an epic collection of supporters, champions, and admirers.
THERE ARE POWERFUL THINGS YOU ALREADY DO
You already know what works and doesn’t work FOR YOU.
Revisit your own success strategies, remind yourself how and why those work so well, and then reinsert those specific action items into your life.
I find that most people have a specific way that they “do” discouragement. That’s right — DO. I’m willing to bet there’s something physical you’re doing (or not doing) to manifest the negative feelings. I also am willing to bet that by simply realigning your goals and physiology, you will quickly remedy the situation.
By the way, I also find that discouragement kicks you in the gut most when you don’t have a proper context for success.
Success, as I’ve talked about before, ALWAYS HAPPENS.
The real question is whether you’re taking steps every day to define what that success will be (choosing your own destiny).
Discouragement happens when we don’t feel that we are moving forward in the direction of our dreams. Take a moment and carefully write out — in powerful detail — what you want (as if you knew you could not fail and money was no object). (I’m being totally serious when I challenge you to WRITE OUT what you want. Don’t keep it safe within the confines of your head. You’ll just lie to yourself, make excuses, and continue to let imaginary lines get crossed if you do that.
Purge the dreams so that they spill out of your imagination and onto the page. They become real that way. You are forced to face them. And they then start on their incredible path of becoming true for you.)
SUCCESS IS A HABIT. SO IS DISCOURAGEMENT. PICK ONE.
There are times when we all fall into our own dark and twisty place when we believe everything is wrong and nothing will turn out well.
I think that tends to happen when the lack of belief in our definite major purposes exists.
And, I think that lack of belief happens when the voices in our heads start speaking up and reminding us that things aren’t happening quick enough, or powerfully enough, or publicly enough.
You know you are not a failure.
Don’t start dumping garbage in your head. And if you’ve already done that — take out the garbage.
Discouragement can simply be something that you’ve learned to do and experience. That means you can unlearn it quickly and banish it forever.
HERE’S SOMETHING YOU CAN DO RIGHT NOW . . .
In your mind’s eye, go back and revisit the first time that you felt discouragement. See it. Feel it. Experience it in all its nasty and ill-gotten detail. You must relive it so that you know what it’s like when it’s not there anymore.
That first discouraging event in your life is a powerful moment that can easily become anchored in one’s memory and then become part of a negative habit.
Now, go back 15 minutes in time before that first feeling of discouragement. Where is your discouragement now?
That should have caused you to ponder and ruminate.
In the 15 minutes that followed your LACK OF DISCOURAGEMENT, you did something that caused you to feel discouraged — which in turn created a looping program that has run internally in you ever since.
Keep going back to the time when you felt NO DISCOURAGEMENT and you will begin to rewire yourself.
Now’s the best time of all to decide that discouragement isn’t for you. It isn’t even in your vocabulary any more, is it?
Once you’ve made that decision and you’re ready to move forward with your dreams, let me know how losing “discouragement” has started you on a new road of transformation.
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