It may be hard for an egg to turn into a bird: it would be a jolly sight harder for it to learn to fly while remaining an egg. We are like eggs at present. And you cannot go on indefinitely being just an ordinary, decent egg. We must be hatched or go bad.
– C. S. Lewis
Each of has our own way of being and doing and thinking and accepting. Many times, we be, do, think, and accept in ways that are self-destructive or designed to undermine a desired outcome.
Lack of obtaining the success that you envision is usually a direct result of the way you behave and believe . . . not just a matter of chance.
I’ve found that there are 10 main ways you can behave and believe (usually choosing to react rather than respond to Life’s challenges) that are less than empowering and certainly not magical.
Take a look and ask yourself if you’ve fallen prey to any of these:
1. Your close circle of friends is not made up of people who empower you. I’ve said this before: take a look at your closest friends and find the one who is the weakest link. More likely than not, the entire circle is making allowances and excuses and giving pardon to that weakness. That makes all of you less potent and you begin to take on those disadvantages.
2. You believe what people tell you without asking, “Is that true?” It’s so easy to commiserate and share in Life’s frustrations with others, isn’t it? Other than an immediate gratification of seeing who claims to be “worse off” than the other, what does this type of pity party actually accomplish? More importantly, how often are you listening to the drama of others and then adopting that way of thinking, believing, and doing yourself? It’s time to stop simply accepting what others say and start asking, “is that true?”
3. You think you’re a mindreader. Very few of you are actual mindreaders. You don’t know what someone else is thinking. You don’t know what they are feeling. And you don’t know what their intention is. Even when they give voice to it. What you can rely upon is what they actually do. Start giving more important to what people do — not what they say — and certainly not what you are imagining they are thinking, feeling, and believing.
4. You keep staring at the Past. You have a Past. Get over it. The Past is where you have learned your lessons. But you need to take those lessons and use them in the Present to create the Future of your dreams. If all you do is live in the Past, then you aren’t living at all. You’re coping and you’re plotting revenge and you’re feeling sorry for yourself. If staring at the Past isn’t serving you well, it’s time to put a nice ribbon on it, put it in a closet, and start unwrapping the gift of the Present.
5. You take before giving. Those who enjoy consistent, fulfilling, and lavish success all have done the same thing: they have envisioned what they want to achieve. Then they have started acting in accordance with already having that outcome. That necessarily includes filling in the blank to the following statement: “I would give ______________ to have my dream come true.” Once you have the blank filled in, start doing whatever that is right now.
6. You haven’t voiced specific, articulable goals. If you can’t distinguish one goal from another, you can’t possibly know when true success has been reached. If you have a special or unique goal, then envision it in all its glorious detail. And express it to others. Others need your vision and your voice in order to become raving fans, supportive cheerleaders, and teammates.
7. You don’t take any risks. Each of us has a different level of risk tolerance. But there are some who won’t take any risks at all. The odds, by the way, are usually better than you feel they are. Beside, it was Helen Keller who said, “Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” Helen Keller overcame incredible odds. If she can do, so can you.
8. You make decisions based on scarcity. A very close cousin to not taking risks, is the behavior of choosing based on a belief of deficiency. Life is filled to the brim with opportunities, things, people, and events. When you actually take the time to assess your Life with a “get real” attitude, you immediately find that you have abundance. I dare you to start making your decisions “as if” you already had everything you want.
9. You’re less concerned with being effective than you are with being appealing. You won’t appeal to everyone. You won’t be liked by everyone. You won’t make decisions that everyone will agree with. And, as soon as you do something someone else doesn’t like, you might even be called an asshole. So what? Your obligation is to do what needs to be done to produce the outcome or effect you want to achieve.
10. You let others pirate your ideas, inventions, and innovations. One of these days you, will stop being a doormat. One of these days, you will get tired of being the prey for others. One of these days, you will place value on your creations. When that day comes, you can then stand up for what’s right and what’s yours and what will actually make your prosperous.
If you’ve read through this list and even said, “Hey, I do that,” once — you’re making your life harder than it has to be. It’s time to get real, realign your thoughts and behaviors, and become an incredible success rocket!
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