“I pretended to be somebody I wanted to be until I became that person. Or, he became me.”
– Cary Grant
Last week I asked you if you believe in magic. And then I challenged you to use that magic well (after explaining that we all believe in magic to one degree or another).
This week, we’re going to finish up with some questions and answers. So off we go . . . second star to the right and straight on ’til morning . . . and all that . . .
CREATING THE RITUAL OF MAGIC (Continued)
What gives a magician fortitude?
You develop this just like you develop everything else that’s worth your time and effort: by staying positive and powerfully minded. By paying attention to how you talk to yourself. And by choosing to participate in your own successes.
Start taking on the habits of successful professional athletes. These might include:
1. Keep exploring “why” things happen for you. This keeps you from becoming complacent – the killer of every dream you might have.
2. Set tough and uneasy goals. You become competent by staying uncomfortable (this will also keep you from being complacent, by the way).
3. Don’t be stupid. I want you to keep testing limits and boundaries and beliefs. I want you to achieve what others believe to be impossible. There’s a difference between that and being absurd. Only you know the real difference for you. But deep down inside you “know.” Pay attention to that difference.
4. Always be ready. Every successful magician will tell you how much they have practiced and honed their skills just so they can use one skill at one time. It becomes a response, not a reaction.
5. Say and do. Your word – to yourself and to others – is your pledge, your solemn oath. When you say and don’t do, you are training yourself to believe that it’s okay if you don’t keep your word. When you hold yourself accountable for all you say so that you do what you promise, your performance takes on a whole new level of charm.
Why do you think some magicians fail and go back to their old way of life?
Shit happens. All the time. At least it’s easy to think that. And life is filled with challenges. In fact, I believe we actually seek them out: both the challenges and the shit. The problem happens when so-called magicians bring a sense of entitlement into the game with them. When things don’t go their way they essentially give up or throw a temper tantrum, take their ball, and go home. Those are wanna-be magicians. Don’t confuse yourself with them. I’ll say it again: Shit happens. Get over it, under it, through it, or around it anyway you can. Then forget about it (other than to figure out if there’s something you did that caused it so it doesn’t happen again). Move on to the next magical thing and stop staring at your past.
Of course, there will also be times when things do go your way (that’s part of the “Shit happens”). You can put forth your best efforts and best beliefs and best self-talk and still you feel let down or frustrated. Those who give up are those who believe they have to succeed every time, all the time, and that failure is a sign that their personal magic doesn’t work. Your magical job is to give it your all all the time – not to succeed each and every time. You’re not perfect. But you can be excellent in all that you do. There’s a difference.
What are the biggest demands magicians face in developing confidence in themselves and their magic?
This really goes back to the first question, doesn’t it. At a very early age, we “grow out of” a belief in Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy. We are told we have to “grow up.” The funny thing is that we never really do any of those things. That’s why we go to so many movies, watch so many videos, read so many books. Because there’s a part of us that continues to believe – not only in the magic of life – but in the magic that other people have. When we recognize magic in others, we are really recognizing that in ourselves.
The biggest demand, then, is not in developing confidence . . . as it is developing the skills that bring you sense of control.
Perhaps, then, the best way to develop confidence in yourself and your personal magic is to draw a distinction between creating powerful and positive thinking and using your imagination to escape reality. I want you to use your powerful imagination to help shape your reality, not escape from it. And that really brings me to the most important part of creating confidence: the use of your imagination in an affirmative and self-empowering way.
I also want you to stop being persuaded and mislead and duped by others who have their own agendas for success.
There’s always a difference between impossible and unlikely. The interesting thing is when you start exploring what “impossible” really means for you. Many times, what you think of as impossible is really not true. Indeed, I’m asking you to keep a healthy level of doubt or skepticism about everything – even your own beliefs. Keep testing them. And certainly don’t necessarily believe in anything until you have a level of self-confirmation.
Confidence – in yourself and your magic – is about a sense of control. When you have that feeling that you are able to direct or determine your course in life, you develop confidence.
Understand that magic is intended to be fun and to help you excel in life. Start rewarding your efforts and intentions rather than simply focusing on results.
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