You have to defeat a great players aura more than his game.
– Pat Riley
Everyone has one or more characteristics that distinguish them from someone else. When those characteristics conspire to make someone so distinct that other people stand up and take notice, it is said that person has an aura about them. Some would call it an energy force. Others would say that it is a mystique or vibration about a person that makes them seem important!
A person with a strong mystique is usually described by others with terms like:
When you get to those times when you feel that your inner glow has diminished, here are some tips and tricks to put into play to get your sense of heightened value back:
1. Pay Attention to Your Body Language. More often than not, a subtle shift in the way you use your body is all that is needed to get your aura back! Get a picture in your mind’s eye of what someone who exudes any of the traits listed above looks like and compare that imaginary image with how you are really asserting (or not asserting) yourself. Once you reassert your positive and confident body language, you will see that you will, once again, be able to get people to focus on you anytime you so desire.
2. Get Out There and Mingle. Commit yourself to not only being accessible but as someone who truly enjoys the company of and conversation with others. When you are in a funk that takes away the glow of your aura, forcing yourself to get out there and enjoy yourself can be ambitious. And . . . it is the perfect correction that must be made in order to put a shine on yourself, yet again.
3. Take Calculated Risks and Be Determined. You tend to lose your glow in direct proportion to how much you have lost your direction in life. When you get a sense that you have lost your way, that is the exact moment when you should sit down and write out new and demanding goals. In the business world, James Collins and Jerry Porras have called this creating a Big Hairy Audacious Goal. While Collins and Porras used this concept to empower companies to create and determine ambitious goals, the technique works equally well for individuals. In other words, to use the Collins and Porras principle, you want to create a vision of yourself or outline of your goals/dreams/aspirations that is “clear and compelling, serves as unifying focal point of effort, and acts as a clear catalyst” for your path forward. Your vision should also have a definitive finish point so that you know when your goal has been achieved.
4. Take No Prisoners. So you’re feeling a little lackluster and your aura seems muted. Get over it. You must be persistent in your personal obligation to be successful. This responsibility brings with it the essential component of never settling for anything. You understand that life is a series of choices and consequences from those choices. And you understand that making choices is one of the greatest gifts you can be given. It certainly beats the alternative of constantly being the victim of other people’s decisions. In your case, one of the quickest ways to get your glow back is to never settle for anything other than the best for yourself.
5. Focus. Focus. Focus. Your aura – your mystique – thrives on the concentration of attention – yours and others. If you have lost your glow, check to see if you haven’t simply become distracted and inattentive. Nothing diminishes an inner glow like neglect of oneself. And the fact remains that if you don’t care enough to be focused on what you do, why should anyone else? The fix for this situation is an easy one – direct both your attention and your intention to wanting, having, and being MORE!
6. Be Deliberately Mystifying. When people are attracted to you or notice you for an unknown reason (in other words, they really can’t put their fingers on what it is, they just know they want to be around you), you have mystique. Part of that mystique is fueled by being somewhat aloof (even though you are getting out there and mingling). Don’t be too transparent. Rather, only share that part of you that is essential and leave the drama at home.
In the end, whichever of the listed tools you choose to put into play, getting your glow back is all about getting out there and participating in life. It is all about attracting and delighting other people. It is all about others seeing, feeling, and finding the value in you that you know you have. So . . . make certain you spend that aura well.
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