Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, “I just don’t care?”
Last week, I talked with you about personal branding. Yes, how you are seen by others is certainly important. But, how you and your world are visualized by YOU can be either all-powerful or earth-shattering (literally). Let me tell you a story . . .
During the last round of cosmic cataclysmic warnings in December, I encountered a fair number of people who were scared. They were frightened that the world was going to be destroyed. Or they were horrified that people would turn on themselves in panic and out of desperation. Or terrified that the Rapture was imminent and they would be left behind. Naturally, there were as many variations of these dire scenarios as the intimidated people who told them. Each person who uttered their apprehension shared something in common – they had created a frame of reference for themselves that had rendered them defenseless and, in some cases, paralyzed. Think of the panic that faced each of these people every single day until December 22 happened (in fact, even when I mentioned to some of these people on December 21 that “we are still here,” they all responded, “the day is not over, yet.”)
By the way, none of those who were frightened had any personal knowledge that would validate what they were scared about. Rather, they had allowed their lives to be absolutely controlled for a short but powerful time by a frame of reference created by doomsayers. Today, I want to talk with you about creating your own massively powerful frames of reference so that you don’t ever have to fall prey to someone else’s fear mongering again.
Creating your own frame of reference or frame of mind involves choosing the way you see things. That’s right, I am asking you to make up your own mind – ahead of time – as to how you want to view your own ideas, circumstances that arise, people you encounter, and situations you face. I believe that positive thinking and success are habits that are easily programmed into someone – it something that you do – if you want that type of sustainable and consistent approach to life. Of course, you can always choose to follow the path of least resistance and let someone else set the frame for your life for you. If you’re looking for a more satisfying, healthy, and fun path through life, though, let’s move on . . .
One of the more successful reframes that the people who were scared about the (their) world coming to an end discovered started with a simple question from me:
If you truly believe that the world will be ending in x number of days, what’s important for you to accomplish in the time remaining?
Go ahead, right now, and ask yourself the same question. Just pretend for a moment that the world will be coming to an end in 7 days. Now . . . what’s important?
The answer to my question now forces you to create a frame (or cognitive reframe) that automatically focuses and provides a powerful setting for your life. My guess is that, in answer to my question, you did not say, “working more hours” or “making more money” or even “buying more stuff.” Rather, your answer has undraped your true essence; the values that keep your heart and soul alive. Once you have those values, do the following self-programming for success:
STEP ONE. Pick one identified value that calls to you the most. You can always change or add more to this later.
STEP TWO. Write out a positive statement of your core belief. As an example, if fellowship is a core belief for you, you might write: I always and actively seek out and embrace integrity, authenticity, and intimacy with the people I care about.
STEP THREE. Commit yourself to making your core belief your personal, overriding obligation for each and every day. Read your value statement (developed in Step Two) to yourself everyone morning upon awakening and then again mid-day.
STEP FOUR. Take the pledge from Step Three and start envisioning ways you can take every situation you might encounter during the day and make it serve your core belief! Have fun with this one . . . after all, it’s all in your head at this point!
STEP FIVE. DO IT! Framing your existence is about actually putting the new frames into action. Don’t just think about it. Don’t just talk about it. Make it happen!
STEP SIX. Adopt this new frame/reframe as your new way of doing things. Make it a habit. Then, start adding to the programming with additional well-chosen values and core beliefs.
Now, the next time someone wants to put their frame around your way of thinking, you have the power to look them in the face and say, “I just don’t care!”
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