The fact that I have no remedy for all the sorrows of the world is no reason for my accepting yours. It simply supports the strong probability that yours is a fake. – H.L. Mencken
Your own thinking is likely not serving you well! But it could. Stop thinking your own way out of success, and get on with having what you want. Ready to stop your bad behaviors and bad thinking and bad feelings?
First, take a moment and consider how many of your own thoughts are considered, by you, immune from question or criticism. And I mean by yourself or others. We all have them. Those sacred cows of personal belief; the untouchable convictions we have formed that we think form the foundation for our security in the world. These might not be things we know, but we certainly are convinced of their truth, aren’t we?
If your thinking is not thoroughly and completely and utterly serving you well, then it’s time to start disputing your beliefs. Find the impressions, theories, and conclusions that obey you (they make your life work) and keep those. The rest (the ones that don’t work)? Get new ones! Move from pleasing others to choosing for yourself.
So . . . how do you discover what works and what doesn’t? Take a piece of paper or use your computer and jot down (in a spontaneous and stream-of-consciousness kind of way) all the judgments, ways of thinking you enjoy, convictions you have, and opinions you hold that you know – deep in your heart – are keeping you from having the success you want. Be savagely honest! Have a straightforward confrontation with your soul! This is not the time to be gentle or humane.
Then, take one of your this-isn’t-working-for-me-anymore notions, and ask these questions:
1. Do I hold this belief because I care what people think of me? If you are holding a belief because you are concerned about what others think of you, you are allowing them to lead you in the direction of their dreams. Challenge the norm. Be yourself.
3. Do I have too much drama attached to my belief? Admit it, you like the spectacle, the crisis, the excitement, don’t you? If you want to use drama to thrill you into action, terrific! If, on the other hand, you are allowing drama to create turmoil and inaction, LOSE THE DRAMA!
4. Do I own my belief? People can spot a fake a mile away! So, start asking yourself, do your deeds, your appearance, and how you are heard match your internal belief? Or, are you just giving lip-service to the belief because it’s the thing to do and you’ve been taught the belief by someone else? Give yourself permission to have a unique point of view, a one-of-a-kind personality, and an uncommon look. Stand out from the others. Most importantly, be congruent with yourself.
5. Does my opinion express either what I like and what I don’t like? You have a lifetime of experience. You know what you like and don’t like (or should). Be okay with those choices. Yeah, that’s right, make a few waves in other people’s thinking.
6. Do I say what I want, when I want to? But . . . this isn’t about being rude. You can still express your authentic self in an elegant way. And, you don’t have to talk over or walk all over someone else to be heard. In fact, give focused listening a shot for awhile. By listening, first, and speaking, second, you will surely find that your words and opinions have more impact.
7. Have I considered that everyone has different ideas? Unless you’re in that type of setting and the agenda is warranted, most of the time you are not on this earth to force other’s to conform to anything. Rather, you are here to live your life and walk your talk, and show or explain what you do. Let everyone else conform to the world’s expectations and standards. Be a living example of your truth. You might be surprised to find that you become a model for others.
8. Have I crossed the boundaries of success? Look, I’ve just been going on and on about being an original YOU and owning your own thoughts and reexamining what you previously held as sacred. That does not mean you should give yourself permission to go out and be a nonconformist, heretic, or rebel just for the sake of being a jerk. Your maverick, free-spirit self can express itself while still staying true to the ultimate question: Is my belief serving me well? Oh by the way, today’s technique is designed to enable you to attack concepts, ideas, and beliefs – not people. Very rarely are there good reasons to make others feel or appear small.
9. Is my belief a natural extension of me and not contrived? Who is the real you? Let others see and hear and experience who you really are! You can’t be someone else.
1o. Am I taking things personally? Don’t take anything personal. Ever.
Today’s exploration has been about the freedom of questioning, exploring, and enhancing your own successful thoughts and beliefs. To do that, simply remember:
Don’t just worship your own beliefs – feed your thinking
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